I told Steven tonight I don't want to talk to him anymore. I'm sad but I know its the right thing to do. I still love him so much. God I'm going to miss him so fucking much but what more can I do, what more can I say. I did everything I could of done and it still wasn't enough. I realized tonight that I could never have what I truly wanted us to have. He wouldn't have allowed it. He's not the one, at least not right now. I've cried too much over the last year and I don't want to anymore. I deserve better. I deserve to be loved. I don't want to loose his friendship but in order for me to move on to a better place I need time to heal and time to learn from this experience. I really hope down the road I'll be able to talk to him and laugh about everything thats happened. I still wish him the best. I hope he enjoys hes time left here. And I'm sure he will. I'm sure he won't loose a wink of sleep over this. well I guess its time to cry myself to sleep.. Nite.
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