Funny journal entry:

Ok so heres the deal. If your close to me and you read this you can't judge me!! I'll kill you if you do.. I just find some of the shit I think, write, and do so funny and stupid but its me. And you gotta love it! So I wrote this while I was into David. This was the begining of my HARDCORE crush on David. I'll post more on the whole crush thing later in life..

Wednesday, February 14, 2007
LOL.... A few days ago I married David. well at least in my little crazy mind of mine.... I became Kenneth Anderson, Thinking that it sounded better than David Manning, and also wanting to drop the whole manning thing.. It never really did much for me anyways... I cant believe that I still have a crush on him. its been over 3 months now.. Why is it that I want all the things I cant have.. Fucken Marcel, he's a nice guy and seems very, very cool but I wish they would break up... and oh I've played out that fantasy.. it went something like David and Marcel would break up. David would be sad and lonely I'd offer my shoulder and BOOM.. we're a couple... LOL... We are not even that close David and I.. I can bearly look him in the eye.. Its always like that when I'm really attracted to someone. but its getting better now I can whole a conversation with him without always looking on the ground.. I kind of lost it a little bit this last Thursday. he kept poking me and trying to touch my bits and pieces playfully but I couldn't handle it so I told him I was going to kick his ass. it was either that or I was going to rape him...lol... every time he touches me I loose my mind. Its weird cause I really and truthfully cant see myself in a relationship with him and I'm iffy on the sex part.. I'm just in to him.. weird huh... well anyways Thursday is around the corner and I love Thursdays cause I get to see him... You think I go there to watch Greys anatomy and ugly Betty please... I go there to see him and a little so see everyone else but mostly him... Maybe if we had sex I'd be over it. thats how it usually works..